The SEC: Epicenter for Small Town, Big Time Football
With the news that Oklahoma & Texas will likely be in the conference by next year, The Waco Kid has a few more thoughts on expansion.
By: The Waco Kid
Bevo thinking he’s waygu.
The newest editions to the top football conference in the nation got me thinking. Was I a fan of the move? No, Oklahoma is at minimum a two-loss team in what may be the worst P5 conference; and don’t even get me started on those dirty cows down in Austin. They think they are Wagyu when in reality they are the on-sale ground chuck that you buy at the store the day before it expires because it is the 14th and your paycheck hasn’t hit yet. How do you go from losing at least two games a year in the Big 12 to competing in the SEC? The answer is you don’t and the fat should be trimmed on high expectations.
Oklahoma will be a four-loss team in this power conference unless they somehow end up in a division with Vanderbilt, Texas, Mizzou, and South Carolina. Spencer Rattler should try to find a way to graduate before OU enters THE league. We all saw how well the SEC worked out for Kyler Murray. Texas will be atrocious, Arkansas will take those heffers to the slaughterhouse week 2 of the 2021 season, and with the livestock traveling to Fayetteville, there will be no mercy from players or fans. There will be taunting from all parties involved, maybe even Sam Pittman will turn those damn horns down. On top of that, no refs in the SEC will stop the unholiest of gestures in college football, and the No-Spine Bovine will leave triggered and upset because of the “disrespectful” actions from the Razorbacks. Oh, wait I forgot it was neither the fans, nor players, nor coaches, nor admin that were butt hurt and wanted the Horns down penalty enforced. Which means it was definitely the opposing programs that found it so degrading that they humbly took a stand for what was right. Welcome to the SEC and if you can’t handle horns down, I would definitely not travel to Baton Rouge for any away games.
Texas fans shield your eyes.
I digress. Even with all of these issues, I still believe the biggest problem with these moves is that the SEC is known for small towns supporting big-time football programs. From Athens down to Tuscaloosa, to Oxford, through Baton Rouge into College Station and up to Fayetteville, all towns are known for that southern style (whether that be food or tailgating or hospitality) and that small-town presence with a giant fan base rallying around some of the top football programs in the country. The SEC isn’t a league to their faithful, no, it's a lifestyle. Not a lavish lifestyle but one that is built on the blue-collar, hard-working individuals that for one day get to escape the 9-5 grind, eat good food, drink cold beer, and watch their teams compete for a chance at glory. From that blue-collar mentality to Greek life, at the end of the day all fans, from all backgrounds, come together to celebrate a well-fought battle in the greatest conference in the nation. For 24 hours nothing else besides football, food, and alcohol matters. In this sense I believe Norman and Austin will be the ostracized looking to get into the country field bonfire all SEC fans have come to love.
The SEC will wreck your shop, OU & UT.
Let’s start with Norman, OK. The childhood home of both Vince Gill and most recently notable presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren. Norman does fall into the small town category, I will give them that. But it is also in Oklahoma which is the skid mark of the United States. So to be the one place where the skid did not mark is like being the smartest in an idiot competition. I would like to know who, during the Louisiana Purchase, said “oh we should include Oklahoma.” Winstar is the shining attraction in the Sooner state and I stand by that statement. This is not an SEC town, they do not adhere to the traditional southern food or hospitality, they are merely there. And if SEC teams have to play in Norman, fans be warned, you are entering a town that brings nothing to the table besides a decent college gameday and some tumbleweed. Oh and maybe Baker Mayfield getting slammed by some cops. Texas fans will travel for this game because it is in Dallas not Norman, no one else should travel to away contests against OU and if you do, enjoy the nothingness that this college town has to offer.
Baker gives his warm welcome to Norman, OK!
I looked up things to do in Norman on Bing, because Google gave me nothing, and three out of the top five were museums and the national weather center, with the other two being Oklahoma Memorial Stadium and a casino. Have to admit I love the casino part (check out PrizePicks on the apple store and at prizepicks.com to get a match of your initial deposit up to $100 when using the promo code “biscuits”). Plug complete. But seriously, a one-stop shop for all of your fantasy football desires, cannot wait until the season begins. So if you are a fan of SEC football, tailgating, and everything in between, go to Norman where you can get a slight buzz and visit the Sam Noble Oklahoma Museum of Natural History. Or maybe pop in after some good BBQ and check out the Fred Jones Jr Museum of Art. I, for one, know that I will be spending all of my time at the National Weather Center. Honestly, my game days will never be spent in Norman no matter the game. Unless someone wants to teach me how to noodle so I can fry up some good cats for the weekend. Oh and for those who do want to venture to Norman, try my favorite beer, it won’t disappoint.
Now Austin is a little different, keep Austin weird am I right? I have so many friends that live there and love it and it is a great city. But is it an SEC town? That is all we really care about - and the answer is no. ATX is a huge metropolitan area filled with bars from 6th to Rainey Street. The food is to die for and the music is on a different level. If you don’t believe me just check out ACL, both the concert and the weekly performances. However, it is becoming one of the most expensive cities outside of California, and that does not scream SEC. The capital of The Republic has become overrun with West Coast transplants and granola-eating snowflakes that get triggered at the smallest of things (see Horns down penalty for backup). The politically correct are in charge in Austin and if they don’t like what you have to say you are canceled. To the PC Police “Yo Dre, I got something to say”:
This is not the way of life in the Southeastern Conference and if Texas wants to belong they need to develop a thicker hide. SEC fans do not want to go to a city where traffic is a nightmare and you cannot have a difference of opinion without being crucified for it. Tons of fans will flock to Austin the first couple of years due to the reputation that precedes the city but after one too many crying fans, these small town watchers will no longer want to travel to see the Longhorns get their ass beat on a weekly basis.
Looks like fun! (Photo: CBS Austin)
Plus let’s be honest if great food and music were any indicators of top-tier football, Vanderbilt would be reigning national champions for the past 15 years. I do believe the Stark similarities between the cities of Nashville and Austin portray a haunting foreshadowed future for the University of Texas. Yes, I compared the Horns to Vandy. Is it deserving? Who knows at this point but I can tell you this: if the Horns’ fans want to be accepted they will need to sack up. No more complaining about all the wrongs that have befallen you, go out and play some football, and maybe, just maybe a win or two will fall in your lap in the SEC. If they don’t I am sure Mack Brown can spare a few.
Mack Brown and the boys enjoying my jokes.
Texas and Oklahoma, Austin and Norman, both have a long way to go to be accepted into the SEC lifestyle. They have the choice to be Athens, Oxford or Baton Rouge, or they can be a Nashville or Lexington. It all has to do with the fans, atmosphere and football. You can have one but without the others you are just a bachelorette party destination. If Norman can expand and Austin can calm it on all the bitching and moaning, both can be top-tier college towns in the Southeastern Conference. The lack of attention to these details could place the Sooners and the Horns in a category of college destinations opposing teams’ fans do not care to visit. Like always, it's 11:31 pm and Oklahoma still sucks. Horns Down.