The Deep South’s Oldest Column: Through the Eyes of a Coach's Son
Football coaches face intense pressure, but to many they are role models, win or lose. We should remember a few things when we talk about our leaders of men.
By: Dr. B
It was the finals of the 8th-grade independent school football league in suburban Atlanta, and the mighty Golden Bears were the last test for the mighty and undefeated Wolves on their road to achieving middle school football immortality. I was on the Wolves coaching staff and served as the defensive coordinator. Together with the best coaching staff in middle school football history, we were headed towards the school’s first undefeated season in seven years. We had a terrific team, a fine group of young men, one heck of a group of model Americans.
Against the Bears, who we had beat earlier in the season 21-20 on a stopped two-point conversion as time ran out and was considered a game that was worthy of ending up on ESPN 8 (The Ocho), endurance, pride, and solid play was needed to upend our opponent for a second time. On this day, it was all Wolves as the boys showed up to play, and we rolled to the championship and an undefeated season with a 35-13 victory over our rivals.
We put multiple kids in the ESPN 8 “The Ocho” top plays that day.
Our starting quarterback was a terrific young man...a classic tall, skinny kid so typical of an 8th-grade boy caught in the middle of adolescence and adulthood. Our kids, like most middle school teams, played both ways, so he not only played quarterback but also played safety for my defense. After throwing for a fourth-quarter touchdown pass that sealed the win, he ran over to the sidelines, embraced me, and with tears in his eyes said “Love you, Coach.” Not quite what you expect to hear from an 8th-grade football player, but the kid was special right from day one. What a moment of pure, wonderful emotion and it will remain as one of my top football coaching memories.
That young man’s name was Davis Koetter, and his last name may sound familiar to those that follow professional football. His father, Dirk Koetter, is the current offensive coordinator for the Atlanta Falcons and is the former head coach for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Davis is the youngest of four Koetter children. Dirk was also in the college ranks, having successful stops as the head man at Boise State and Arizona State. Because of his dad’s profession, Davis moved away from Georgia in between his sophomore and junior year in high school to Tampa when his father was hired by the Buccaneers. He played the rest of his high school football in the Sunshine State and would go on to play college ball at Portland State, where he has enjoyed a solid career as a receiver for the Vikings.
Photo: Courtesy Portland State Athletics
Portland State’s Davis Koetter fly’s by a defender.
As most coaches will attest, the best thing about coaching are the relationships made. Davis and I have remained in touch for most of the time since we last were on the field together, and he has grown (literally, as he is now 6’2’’, 205 pounds, a far cry from his 8th-grade stature) into a fantastic young man. Each week when we talk, I ask him how I can best support him and his answer is almost always around the lines of “pray for the health of friends and family, and that I could be focused on service to others”...pretty impressive for a 21-year-old young man indeed.
I had followed each stop of his dad’s and had become a fan of each team he served. Since Davis’ freshman year in high school, Coach Koetter has served as offensive coordinator for the Falcons (twice) and offensive coordinator and head coach for the Tampa Bay Bucs. Since Davis was born, his dad’s profession has led his family to Idaho, Arizona, Florida (Jacksonville and Tampa) and Georgia. I recently spoke to Davis at length about what it was like to be a professional coach’s son, and he was quick to give me the entire scoop.
“(Being the son of a coach) comes with a lot of responsibility, as you are in the public’s eye a lot” stated Davis. He went on to say that he and his siblings had to learn to adapt to a lot of different places, yet it was “cool” moving to so many places and meeting a lot of different people. Davis added that leaving his friends so often was tough, especially his first major move when he was 8 years old from Arizona, where his dad was the head coach at Arizona State, to Florida where Coach Koetter became the offensive coordinator for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Davis also mentioned that it was hard going from Atlanta, where Coach Koetter was the Falcon’s offensive coordinator to Tampa, where Dirk became the offensive coordinator for the Bucs. I asked Davis what he learned from all of the moves, and he stated “I learned the impact of reaching out to others who are new to situations. I never took for granted how kids felt to have someone come and sit with me on the first day at lunch.” As an educator and father of kids that have been new to schools, I can attest that this is indeed fact.
Photo: Otto Greule Jr, Getty Images
Koetter took ASU to 4 bowl games in 6 years as head coach. The Koetter family’s move to Florida when he became the OC of the Jaguars was difficult for young Davis.
I asked what was the hardest part of being a coach’s son. Davis thought about it for a few seconds and answered “The long hours for dad was tough growing up. We always knew that he didn't have the typical 9 to 5 job where dad would be with us at the dinner table...He was rarely at dinner and would usually come home right around the time I would be going to bed. It was also hard to hear the talk about my dad when things weren't going well. Living with it, the wins and losses, you knew why it (losing) was happening when most people didn’t know. I learned there are a million reasons why NFL teams don’t perform. Handling pressure...it’s the nature of the business...you have to win, and the industry isn’t always the best for a family.” Despite the pressure and the nature of the business, Davis stated that his dad, during good times and bad, always “stood tall in the storm, even when he was taking it on the chin.” Davis called his dad his role model and added that his mom, Kim, was “awesome with transitions, unbelievably supportive, especially with kids. She is an all-star that handles all situations with grace.” Huge compliments to parents for certain.
I asked Davis about the positives that went with his father’s job. “Oh, there are many,” he answered. “It is great being an NFL coach’s son. I was afforded a lot of freedom in the complex and around the team. I attended meetings, got to know the players, it’s really great.” Davis then said something profound. “Coach, I am really lucky, and although there are hard things about it, I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me. It’s been a great experience, and the positives far outweigh the negatives. Look what I’ve been able to do? Travel, meet people, learn about the game in a way that most people will never be able to learn it. I’m really lucky.”
Looking from the outside and keeping an eye on wherever Coach Koetter was coaching, I have noticed a few things. From what I can see and from what I have read, players seemed to like playing for him, they seemed to respect him, and most importantly, he seems like a good man. It’s often said that kids are a reflection of their parents, and if this is the case, Coach
Koetter (as well as wife, Kim) must be one heck of a person as Davis was a terrific kid, and is now a terrific adult. In terms of the Koetter kids, all four are well-adjusted, successful, and according to Davis, happy. How many of us are able to say the same thing, even though we face a fraction of the pressure and scrutiny the Koetter family faces each season?
As SEC fans, let’s challenge ourselves for a minute. We are passionate about the game and the teams we follow, no question, but is it possible that, at times, we lose our focus and forget that the coaches we rail against when we lose a game (God forbid) are real people who are parents and husbands and who have mothers and fathers themselves? Davis Koeter reminds us that these coaches are real people. It’s true what he said about the nature of the business is winning, and I certainly understand that fan bases demand victories within their own contexts...for South Carolina, a 9-3 season might be incredible, yet at an Alabama, a 9-3 season is misery defined.
But let’s also remember that a perpetual hot seat, recently let go coach like Gus Malzahn has a wife named Kristi and the couple has two daughters. Can the man at least clean out his office in peace for goodness sake? Let’s remember Tom Herman is married to Michelle and they have three kids. Did you know that recently fired Vanderbilt coach Derek Mason is married to LeighAnn and they have two daughters? And Jim Harbaugh, who is being crucified by the media and every other Michigan fan, is married to Sarah and the couple has two daughters and two sons. I’m not saying we shouldn’t expect our coaches to produce, and I am very well aware that their salaries are quite high...but before we start screaming to take a man’s livelihood away from him because they aren’t reaching our (the fan) expectations, let’s realize that these men are usually really good people...and are role models to many, including perhaps to one of their kids like Coach Koetter is to his son.
Photo: Julie Bennett, AL.com
No matter what happens on the field, Gus Malzahn was universally beloved at Auburn as a role model for young men. He is a husband, father, grandfather, and led the young men on his teams with honor.
Davis is set to graduate from Portland State, yet still has two years of eligibility remaining. He will begin his graduate studies this coming spring and continue his playing career at the University of Missouri, where he will further his football career at the highest level. My thought is that he is going to make an impact, as a player and a person, and he will earn his way onto the coveted “Biscuits & SEC” blog, but this time in a game recap. And eventually, against his father’s will, Davis wants to be a football coach. When I asked him why, he stated that he has a great love for the game, but more so he wants to be, like his dad, a role model for others.
Here’s to Coach Dirk Koetter and his son Davis...two of the truly good guys in the game we love.
Dr. B has lived and taught throughout the South, attending The University of Alabama and earning a Ph.D. from The University of Georgia. He has come to know and love the people and rich traditions of the SEC and its rabid fan bases.